Practical Tips for Repairing Broken Family Relationships

A broken family is a family that is not functioning the way it did when it was originally formed. The connection between family members has been ruptured, causing pain and instability.

Most commonly, this is the result of divorce, separation, or death, but it can also refer to a dysfunctional family in which parents are not good role models, family members are hostile toward one another, and there is conflict and estrangement even though the family unit is physically intact.

Do we know our poor people? Do we know the poor in our house, in our family? Perhaps they are not hungry for a piece of bread. Perhaps our children, husband, wife, are not hungry, or naked, or dispossessed, but are you sure there is no one there who feels unwanted, deprived of affection? – Mother Teresa

Family units are meant to provide a foundation of support and love. Studies indicate that well-adjusted children are more likely to come from intact, happy homes.

However, they also indicate that the emotional climate in the home has a greater effect on the development of a child’s personality than does its structure. Children who come from intact but dysfunctional families can experience the same or even more severe adjustment issues than children coming from broken homes.

Growing up in a broken family and being exposed to fractures in family bonds and experiences arising from toxic family dynamics can leave lasting imprints on a child’s heart and mind. These things shape perspectives and impact future relationships in profound ways.

Common causes of broken families

• Divorce or separation.
• Death of a family member.
• Changes in living arrangements.
• Physical, sexual, or emotional abuse.
• Poor communication.
• Addiction.
• Mental health issues.
• Financial hardship.
• Differing political or religious beliefs.
• Failure to respect boundaries.
• Disrespect.
• Unmet expectations and/or misunderstandings.
• Unresolved conflict.
• Overly controlling parents or caregivers.
• Refusal to acknowledge or apologize when wrong.
• Unwillingness to listen to one another.
• Inability to forgive.

Signs of a broken family

• Children spending a lot of time without one or both parents.
• Parents acting harsh and unloving toward one another.
• Constant disagreements and fighting in the home.
• Disrespect of one another’s opinions and feelings.
• Lack of communication and interaction between family members.
• Inability to solve problems without resorting to violence or verbal abuse.
• Trust issues.

How to repair broken family relationships

• Acknowledge that there is a problem and be willing to confront your issues.
• Recognize what part you may have played in the broken relationship.
• Don’t blame each other.
• Have realistic expectations.
• In the case of divorce or separation, establish good co-parenting practices to help introduce stability.
• Improve communication, and allow and accept emotional expression without judging or criticizing.
• Be available and willing to listen to one another with an open mind.
• Talk openly and honestly about what happened and about how you are feeling.
• Try to reconceptualize your present differences in light of the good moments you’ve shared in the past.
• Be empathetic and compassionate and try to see things from the other person’s perspective.
• Treat each other with respect.
• Create healthy boundaries and establish some ground rules.
• Agree to disagree.
• Let go of your anger.
• Look for common ground.
• Be willing to overcome pride and learn from your past mistakes and disagreements.
• Be willing to ask for forgiveness, and to forgive and offer second chances.
• Acknowledge and apologize for past hurts you may have inflicted.
• Be willing to change hurtful behaviors.
• Appreciate the small joys of the present.
• Create a strong home environment.
• Pray for God to intervene in the lives of your estranged family members.
• Don’t give up praying for your family, no matter how broken things may be.
• Seek professional help.

If you are struggling with the challenges of a broken family and have questions there is help. If you would like to set up an appointment with one of the trained professional family counselors in our online directory to discuss how we can help you recognize and work through your issues and manage the challenges you are facing, please give us a call today.

The Christian counselors at Loma Linda Christian Counseling use a combination of traditional clinical intervention, biblical principles, and prayer. We would be happy to walk through the healing process with you.