Couples Counseling Archives | Loma Linda Christian Counseling

Setting Essential Boundaries in Dating

Setting Essential Boundaries in Dating

Kate Motaung2024-11-07T12:07:12+00:00October 23rd, 2023|Couples Counseling, Featured, Individual Counseling, Premarital Counseling, Relationship Issues|

When you start a relationship with someone, you’re in an exciting and at times bewildering period of discovery. Not only are you discovering more about the person you’re with, but you’re also finding out more about yourself. Certain people bring out things in us that other people couldn’t, and so it’s likely that you’re finding out more about yourself too. This is why boundaries in dating are so important. As you embark upon this journey of discovery, you must remain true to who you are even as you explore new possibilities and are stretched. That can be a tricky balance to maintain, but it is important to manage in a relationship. When you’re in love with someone, you can be swept up by your emotions and the sheer weight of your intimacy into situations that compromise you. The value of boundaries. Boundaries matter, and one reason for this is that your individuality matters. You are who you are, with your distinct personality, likes and dislikes, things that energize and deflate you, and so much more. Boundaries help you maintain that integrity so that you don’t become a mere extension of another person. You can remain yourself and be able to meet your needs in the relationship. All healthy relationships need boundaries so that the people in them don’t collapse into one another to become an indistinguishable mass. It’s important to set healthy boundaries in dating because that sets the tone for your relationship going forward. If the boundaries you have are unworkable for one or both of you, then it’s likely that you will have the same issue later in your relationship. Some boundaries to set when dating. You can set boundaries around different areas of your life. Sometimes you don’t know that you already have a boundary until [...]

Bible Verses About Marriage: Characteristics of a Godly Union

Joanna Kucherera2024-09-28T12:00:05+00:00August 23rd, 2023|Couples Counseling, Featured, Marriage Counseling, Relationship Issues, Spiritual Development|

Getting married is a huge commitment and whether a marriage is a happy and thriving one depends on different factors. There has been a significant shift in marriage in recent decades with some people questioning the necessity and relevance of marriage. There are many relevant Bible verses about marriage that may be applied. The length of a marriage is not necessarily proof of a happy and thriving marriage. Yet when couples divorce within a few years of getting married, it can be proof that something has gone fundamentally wrong. Christian couples should endeavor to have long and happy marriages. The chances of achieving this are high if they involve God from the very beginning of their marriages. Bible Verses about Marriage Marriage is a relationship involving two people. The direction it takes depends on the spouses’ willingness and ability to work together for a common purpose: a long and happy marriage. Here are Bible verses to help us understand God’s will for marriage. Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? What harmony is there between Christ and Belial? Or what does a believer have in common with an unbeliever? – 2 Corinthians 6:14-15, NIV One of the most important things of which to be mindful is to look for someone with whom you are compatible. Compatibility in thiscontext does not imply sameness. Instead, it connotes the sharing of similar values, principles, beliefs and most importantly the ability to reach amicable agreements when differences arise. Most people have different views on topics like finances, parenting styles, and setting boundaries with extended family members. These are topics that most couples often face. If you marry someone to whom you are not equally yoked in [...]

5 Key Toxic Traits in a Relationship

Kate Motaung2024-11-07T12:09:07+00:00August 4th, 2023|Couples Counseling, Family Counseling, Featured, Marriage Counseling, Premarital Counseling, Relationship Issues|

The key to a happy life is to have functional and satisfying relationships. Relationships meet important needs such as finding comfort, receiving support, and being able to love and be loved by others. Your work could be going great, but if your relationships are falling apart, constantly embroiled in conflict, or exhibiting toxic traits, you probably won’t feel like you’re flourishing. Having healthy relationships is an important human need we all need to get fulfilled. A person can get trapped in an unhealthy relationship for a variety of reasons. Sometimes, it’s a close relationship like a mother-daughter relationship, or it’s a broken relationship between siblings. You don’t choose your family, and you can find yourself in difficult situations that are hard to escape. In other cases, you can be caught in an unhealthy relationship like a marriage, and children are involved. Extricating yourself from that dynamic is often difficult. Unhealthy relationships can develop over time, or there can be a rapid shift in the relationship caused by something like a chronic illness. Whatever the case may be, being able to tell when a relationship is toxic is helpful. Those warning bells should get you moving toward addressing the issues in the relationship. Signs of a toxic relationship. You might be in a toxic relationship if you see or experience the following: You feel tired or drained after interacting with that person. You feel resentful of the person, but you don’t feel comfortable expressing your feelings. Your self-esteem and sense of worth have taken a dip or dive since the other person came into your life. You’re stressed and overwhelmed, and part of the reason is the sheer amount of time and energy that you pour into the relationship. You feel isolated from other people, and unhappy about your current [...]

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